Do you regret us?
by Jaike Kyr
Summary: Of course there were things he could never forgive him for saying. And having little to no experience with relationships, even in his own time period, he hadn't understood the balance that came into keeping a healthy one. He figured this was something normal; every relationship has moments like these... Right?


An enigma.

A paradox.

That was the best way to describe him. The handful of problems that resided in that beautiful brunette's skull were too much for most people to handle. There were, of course, a select few who knew how to navigate his complex mind, but the number could really only be counted on half of one hand.

Tony Stark was a mess.

Steve Rogers thought he could handle it.

He was wrong.

It all began probably before he even knew the man. The issues started before he'd even been unfrozen. There was no way for him to know just what he was getting himself into, what he bargained for. By the time he got to know the engineer well enough to see all the underlying issues, he was already in too deep. What had started out as fighting and a clashing of morals, became a fight to keep the others affection.  
 _Everything special about you came out of a bottle._  
Of course there were things he could never forgive him for saying. And having little to no experience with relationships, even in his own time period, he hadn't understood the balance that came into keeping a healthy one. He figured this was something normal; every relationship has moments like these...

Right?

It was when he and Tony had gone on group outings that he noticed how strange his relationship really was. It was hard not to be embarrassed about taking him places. It became hard for him to spend time with other friends that didn't like him as much. Tony was far too quick to lash out at what he thought was an insult, and regarded Steve with a certain level of possessiveness. He was rude, offensive, and had no filter in groups.

Tony's problems had become too much for Steve to handle.

Steve had pushed the idea away for as long as he could. He bit back complaints, did his best to see Tony's outbursts as a sign of improvement, and bargained with his more rational side that his slowly dwindling physical interest in the man was a product of his own lack of confidence. But every night, laying next to him and watching him fall asleep, he'd feel it: an ever growing pit of uneasiness settling into his gut. He knew the feeling. That all too real instinct that something was very wrong.

Tony had just gone to a meeting that morning, and Steve had woken up with an ice cold knot in his stomach. He needed to talk about this, now, before he drove himself mad with inner conflict. Any person he truly trusted on the team was who he sought, but everyone was out or working, or gone. So he planted himself in a chair outside and resorted to texting. If forcing himself to learn typing on a touchscreen smart phone was what it took, by god he'd do it.

Nothing he got lead to anything good.

He raised his knees to his chin and ran his fingers through his hair with a heavy sigh.

 _'I feel sick...'_

He'd been intermittently texting Tony that morning, hinting at what was to come...

He was greeted with the brunette coming home early, looking guarded. He had that set to his jaw like he was holding back. Steve gulped, feeling the panic rising in his chest as his soon-to-be ex lover sat down next to him on their bed and stared at him, those brown eyes already looking hurt.

Steve began with a nervous sigh.  
"I've done a lot of thinking, and I've realized this isn't working.." When he got no reply he continued, finding it hard to make eye contact. "I don't feel the way I should about you, and I don't give you what you need. I just hope you don't hate me for this..."

He looked up to see Tony standing up with a frown, and as usual his language was both loud and colorful when he was angry. "Let me ask you something Steve. Why the Fuck did you even Bother starting this relationship if you weren't sure?!"

"It's hard to tell how I feel. You know that. When you're that close to someone-"

"No Steve! You don't just take This fucking long to figure these things out! You dated me, you told me you love me, hell you even fucked me! And Now all of a sudden you're backing out! What happened!? We were fine yesterday!"

"Tony, I-"

"Now you just wake up and feel like you don't love me anymore, is that it?! It makes no sense! Normal fucking people don't Do that!"

He bit his cheek and looked down. Another jab at how not-normal he was, another thing to add to the list of unforgivable things he'd said. "You're right. You're absolutely right. But you know what?"

"What?" Tony bit out the word like a snapping shark.

"It's you, Tony. It's your problems, your anger. You're constant bitterness. I can't take you places because you insult my friends. I ca-"

The brunette glared and jabbed a finger into Steve's chest, practically hissing at him. "Don't you Dare use that against me!"

This was a rare case when the blonde would actually raise his voice. "I have to! I can't lie! And I'm not the only one who's noticed this! You either push people away or they leave, and I can't stand that!" He brushed Tony's hand away as he continued. "I can't help you, and I can't keep this up if we even want to Be friends after this."

His heart dropped in his chest and his eyes pricked with the promise of on coming tears at the sound of his friend making a strangled sob.

"Steve.. please.."

"I'm sorry Tony. You have no idea How deeply sorry I am. Hurting you was something I never wanted to do. Ever. You helped talk me into this, you knew this could fail.." He took a deep shaky breath, "I love you Tony, I'd do anything for you. I'd move mountains for you, cross oceans for you.. but I don't love you the way you want me to.. I don't give you what you need. I'm not affectionate enough, I don't touch you.. You're too stuck on me to realize how little I contribute."

He heard Tony's voice grow husky with tears, "You're plenty affectionate."

"No.. I'm not. And knowing that I'm not beats me down every day. This is hurting us both."

Tony was actually quiet for once. "It just doesn't make sense.."

The blond sighed and held the shorter man's shoulders, looking him in the eyes. "It doesn't make sense because You're the one who's in love.. I'm sorry, but I'm ending this now."

There was a sigh, and a defeated slump of shoulders as Tony gave in. Steve let go, grabbed his pillow, and headed for the door not knowing what else to say. Was there really anything else that Should be said? As he opened the door he heard a small voice behind him.

"Do you regret.. us?"

He stopped.. and smiled sadly, speaking as he exited the room. "The only thing I regret is hurting you."

There was a soft click as the door shut... Followed by sobs.

 _'I'm so sorry Tony. I couldn't handle it.'_


End file.
